Wow… a whole year (more than that actually) since my last post. I’m not good at keeping diaries. I never have been, and to me a blog is like a diary, except you actually want people to read it. On a blog post, you’re supposed to be able to have people be able to identify with you, know what you’re about, and look forward to what you’re going to say next. In a way, blog posts work to chronicle your growth and development, as well as the growth and development of the people who read you, or whom you serve.
I’m not sure what to say about where I’ve been this past year, but it’s encompassed moving into my parents’ place, moving out on my own again, and moving to a completely different region of the state. It’s encompassed many lessons, many instances of spiritual growth, and many times where I have considered whether or not animal communication is something I should be offering. I have gone back and forth between my closet of smallness, shutting the door, opening it again, shutting and locking the door, and inevitably opening it again. It has been easy for me to hide. Easy for me to say, “No, animal communication is too risky. People won’t understand. They’ll think I’m a fraud and all of that,” but the animals have made their choice, and they’ve made their opinion known.
Since moving to Central Oregon, I’ve had many dreams with animal messengers, but I will take a few paragraphs to share one in particular with you. Because this one was so meaningful, it hasn’t left me not even in the months that have transpired since I had it. This is a dream that any time I doubt my abilities, and doubt whether I am needed, it is the one that reminds me I am needed, and sorely.
My dream began at my childhood home. Where I had my first dog, and where, for most summers in high school, I would go to spend 2 or 3 months with my dad. I walked out into the backyard, and it was filled with dogs and cats. Not one inch of the ground or the deck was left unoccupied. As soon as I stepped out onto the deck, all eyes and ears were on me. A kitten, a striped black and grey tabby, got my attention first. He hopped up on my lap, answering my as yet unspoken question: why are you here? The kitten said simply, “There are some of us who need your help, and we knew where to find you. You’re not hard to find. You give off unique signals.” With that, the kitten jumped down and I was left in the company of a few dogs. They were happy to see me. Just to be in my presence.
After a while, I made my way back into the house, my mind consumed with a mixture of fear and excitement. The animals needed me, and so much so, that they had tracked me down. But what would they ask me to do? And once they asked me, would I be able to deliver?
The moment I stepped in from the deck, I looked at the dining room table, and saw that some dogs had seated themselves around it. They looked like a version of “Dogs Playing Poker,” but much more serious. They were sitting down and waiting for me to join them for lunch! They wanted to talk to me about why they (and all the other animals) had come. I sat next to a great big hound dog, his black and tan ears flopping by his face. He looked at me earnestly. “I came here because I need healing from you. I hurt my paw, and I know you can help me.” I looked at the other dogs, and at the hound, feeling both terrified and overjoyed. The other dogs nodded gravely at me, and gave me the feeling that they were depending on me as well. That they knew I could do what I was being asked.
I looked back at my hound friend, knowing I couldn’t possibly say no. This was no longer an owner coming to me. The dog himself was asking for my help. I looked at him and closed my eyes. “Okay,” I breathed, “I’ll do what I can, but I don’t know what good it will do.”
“I know you can do this,” he said. “Don’t doubt.” He put his paw on the table. The one I presumed was injured, though I couldn’t see anything wrong with it on the surface. It was big and squishy. I took it in my hands.
“Squeeze it,” he said.
“I can’t,” I said. “I’ll hurt you, and I don’t want to do that.”
“You won’t hurt me. I need you to do this. Trust yourself; you’ll make it better.” I stopped listening to the doubt in my head, and did as the hound told me. I took his paw in my hand and squeezed. As I did so, a Periwinkle blue came through my arms and out my fingers. Instantly I felt the paw as it rearranged itself, and brought itself back into harmony. I felt a rush of love and peace as this happened. I looked at my friend, and he looked pleased. “You see?” I smiled, my heart still bubbling over with thankfulness. It felt so good to be useful. To make whole something that was broken. “You have no reason to doubt.”
I did see. And very clearly. I knew that I couldn’t ignore the gift I had been given. There were dogs and cats and other animals who couldn’t or wouldn’t come to me for help as the hound had done. I needed to make myself known so that they could get the help they needed.
The hound darted up from the table, followed happily by his running companion. A husky. Together they went out into my front yard and ran in the snow. I could hear their laughter and their joy, and I could feel the hound’s exhilaration as he moved around on the foot that I had assisted in healing. He could now move forward, and so could I.
After the dream, I let that message sink in, but still today is the first day I am consciously taking ownership and honoring the wisdom I was so freely given. And since that dream, and as I am writing right now in fact, a deeper meaning comes through.
I recently released a self-produced Oracle card deck called Guidance Dogs. The deck features 44 different breeds of dog and their messages.
Is it any coincidence that the dog from my dream was black and tan, thereby making him look like a black and tan coonhound? Whose message just so happens to be Healing?
I don’t think so. I am not really want to believe in coincidences, nor am I one to ignore a sign when I see it. So I’m taking the hint, my friend. I’m coming out again, and offering the skills I have to better my world and all the creatures in it, both human and animal. I leave you with an image of the Healing card from my deck.
“Healing” From Guidance Dogs Oracle card deck. Copyright: Kirsten Laulainen, 2012.
See you in another post, and hopefully not a year from now!